The Marshmallow test, written by Walter Mischel, discussed about nuturing self-control that leads to other positive traits which are beneficial to our day to day encounters.
The idea of Marshmallow test is portrayed by the video below - The waiting game by Sesame Street, where a group of children is presented with their favourite snack, if they are able to resist the temptation to indulge immediately and wait for the researcher to come back, they will be rewarded with another piece of snack.
The result of the marshmallow test has become an indicator for their future life. For those who are able to wait for their reward, lives a more successful life, better social and cognitive functioning, a healthier lifestyle and greater sense of self-worth compare to those who can't wait.
There are a few ideas that Walter introduce in his book, which I find useful.
1. The brain is controlled by a Hot and Cool system. Activation of the cool system allow us to make better decisions for long term.
The hot system, controlled by amygdala, triggers quick reaction to seek immediate gratification and tension reduction, which allows our ancestor to avoid immediate threat and stay alive. Our cool system, controlled by our prefrontal cortex, is crucial for making future-oriented decisions and self-control efforts. When we are facing threats and temptation, our hot system will signal us to go for immediate gratification or short term solution, which might not be the best for the long run. Therefore, it is crucial for us to learn how to suppress our hot system, and activate our cool system effectively.
2. Self-control and related desired traits are learn-able.
Self-control and willpower is something that are taught-able. The person has to believe there is a consequences for their action. For example, if a child was given with empty promises, he/she would rather choose immediate gratification as they don't see the more beneficial version of their future comes true. It is also important to teach a child to put in effort on their works by providing positive reinforcement on traits that can be work on. When a child achieves good grades, instead of praising the child "smart", it is better to say "good job" to reinforce the idea that good grades comes from hard work, not inborn intelligence.
3. People's behaviour is not consistent over time and across situations in everyday life.
3. People's behaviour is not consistent over time and across situations in everyday life.
That is why sometimes we seen renowned personalities fell into sex scandals, corruptions and other pitfalls. They must have certain level of self-control before achieving their height in their career. Their optimistic illusions and inflated self-worth, has distance themselves from the reality of being caught. That's probably why they fell to their temptation.
4. Willpower as a non-limited resources
The active exertion of self-control can lead to will fatigue. Study shows that engaging self-control at one time will reduce the self-control effort at the following time. However, having the idea of unlimited willpower is possible. That is to believe that persisting on tough tasks is energizing rather than depleting. Keeping this in mind will protect you from will fatigue.
Below are some of the strategies Walter discussed in the book that can help us to have better self-controls in our life.
1. Cool the "Now", heat the "Later"
The fundamental principle of self-control strategy is to cool the "now", and heat the "later". Which is to distance the temptation in front of you away in space and time, and bring the distance consequences closer in your mind. Below are some examples of cool the 'Now' and heat the 'Later'
Situation | Consequences |
---|---|
Overeating | "I might get fat" |
Smoking | "I might get lung cancer" |
Overspending | "I don't have money left for retirement" |
Anger | "It doesn't help to solve my problem and I will hurt my love ones" |
2. Practice "If-then" strategies
Strategies such as "If-then" is one of the ways to train self-control. By understand the hot-triggers, a person can define clear "if-then" instructions to activate the cool system and practice when the trigger appears. A good example from Malaysian's Prime Minister Tun Mahathir on his take on not over eating, is that his mother taught him to stop eating when the food tasted good.
3. Know when to reward yourself
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, or makes Jack to give up. Establishing milestones and checkpoints is important to keep track of progress, and also know where to reward ourselves and harvest the fruit of success. Even thought the idea of unlimited willpower is useful in pursuing success, it is also important to let our hot system enjoy, while the overworking cool system to take a break.
I hope this article can provide a better insight on self-control and willpower. Feel free to comment below should you have any ideas or questions.
3. Know when to reward yourself
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, or makes Jack to give up. Establishing milestones and checkpoints is important to keep track of progress, and also know where to reward ourselves and harvest the fruit of success. Even thought the idea of unlimited willpower is useful in pursuing success, it is also important to let our hot system enjoy, while the overworking cool system to take a break.
I hope this article can provide a better insight on self-control and willpower. Feel free to comment below should you have any ideas or questions.
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